Counseling Services | Hawaii Psychiatric

Is your new therapist “The One”?

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If only therapy was just a little bit more like fairy tales! You’d see your new therapist from across a crowded room, birds would sing and the incidental music would swell. By perfect coincidence your therapist would hand you your missing shoe in your introductory session-a perfect fit! Happily ever after.

Naturally, it’s far more difficult to tell if your therapist is a perfect fit to your mental health needs. Without a background in psychology, it will be hard to tell whether any initial discord is due to a bad match or simply the uncomfortable beginnings of a new course of therapy.

You can help yourself to go through therapy less blindly by taking a proactive approach. After you’ve told the counselor a bit of your own story and needs, you should know a bit about her as well. Instead of letting the counselor ask all of the questions, have a few of your own ready.

1. Can your counselor describe the course of initial therapy she’d be trying with you? It’s extremely helpful to have an overview of your counselor’s plan.

2. Can your counselor help you to set reasonable goals for your work together? If you are goal-oriented, it may help to work with a counselor who has a similar mindset.

3. What are typical sessions like? What does your counselor hope to achieve in each one? This will help you to know what to expect when introductory visits have concluded.

After your visit, when you evaluate your counselor, ask yourself the following about her.

1. Does your counselor seem to provide support by listening and analyzing, or by assigning actions for you to take? Some people genuinely need counseling foremost as an outlet for guided analytic self-expression; others want the structure of practical restructuring steps.

2. Does your counselor’s communication style work well with your own? Do you and your counselor seem to understand each other well?

3. Does your counselor make you feel safe and comfortable? It is hard to establish a good counseling relationship if you are too uncomfortable to share your emotions.

Filed Under: Mental Health Tagged With: Counseling Services, Family therapy, Health, Mental health, Online, Practitioners, Psychotherapy, Relationships

Chance Meetings With Your Mental Health Provider

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What do you do when you see your counselor in public? What should you do? A comment on the counseling-friendly New York Times Well website provoked pages of lively recollection ranging from nightmare (“My counselor moved into my neighborhood and demanded that I change my routes to avoid driving past her house!”) to sweet (“My curmudgeonly 70 year old client hugged me and introduced me to his friends and girlfriend!”) The spectrum of responses from both counselors and clients underscored how unfamiliar your relationship with your counselor becomes outside the safe bounds of the office.

If the thought of running into your counselor at the grocery store makes you squirm, take comfort. In general, you can expect your counselor to follow your own social cues. If you smile and nod, she’ll return it. If you pretend that you don’t know her, she’ll do the same. But if you introduce your husband, don’t be shocked when she doesn’t reciprocate-many therapists need to make slight modifications to normal social graces in order to keep their private lives separate from work. It isn’t a personal affront or a snub toward you.

If you are truly paralyzed by the possibility of meeting your counselor outside the safe haven of her office, bring it up in your next session. This will help you and your counselor to set practical boundaries.

It is also likely to provide fodder for interesting exploration of your relationship with your counselor and counseling in general. Your fear of meeting your counselor may point to other lingering difficulties, such as a fear of the stigma of counseling, the need to keep a certain distance from your counselor, or a discomfort with the level of disclosure between you and your counseling. Though it may be difficult to discuss these things, broaching them with your counselor will help her to understand your fears and emotional hurdles. This will help her to work more effectively with you.

Filed Under: Mental Health Tagged With: Counseling Services, Health, List of counseling topics, Mental health, Online, Practitioners, Psychology, Relationships

Help! You haveve Been Dropped By Your Counselor!

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It can feel like a horrible breakup if your counselor decides to terminate your relationship. You’ve bared your soul to your counselor and put your faith in her. Being told that she can’t help you feels at best like a breach of faith and at worst a rejection or a judgment.

If this happens to you, you don’t need to feel as if the rug has been pulled out from under you. Use these pointers to get yourself back on the horse and find a counselor who is a better match.

Your relationship with your counselor is professional.

You are your counselor’s boss. His job is to provide you with interactions that will improve your mental health. If for any reason he can’t give you the help that you seek, it is his responsibility to tell you. Otherwise, he’d just be taking your money and preventing you from finding a counselor who is better suited to your needs.

Your counselor’s decision is not a judgment or a rejection.

If your counselor tells you that you should try a different counselor, she is not judging you as a human being; she is judging her ability to counsel you, specifically. Just as one medicine doesn’t cure the world’s illnesses, no counselor is fit to help all people. Your counselor has had more experience with therapy than you, and she knows that you’ll find the care you need elsewhere.

It is OK to ask your counselor why the relationship isn’t working.

It’s often helpful to ask a counselor to elucidate his decision for you. This helps you to understand the counseling process better. It will also help to reassure you that the decision was professional, not personal.

Ask for a referral.

Since your counselor now has a better understanding of your specific needs, she is in a unique position to help you find a counselor who will be a better fit. Ask her whom she might recommend in her circle of contacts.

Try again.

Explain any residual bitterness to your new counselor. He can help ease you into your new course of therapy.

Filed Under: Mental Health Tagged With: Counseling Services, Health, Mental health, Online, Practitioners, Professional Resources, Relationship counseling, Relationships

Surviving Your Introductory Appointments With A Mental Health Care Provider

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You’ve decided to find a counselor. Congratulations! Recent studies have shown that a year of psychotherapy provides happiness equivalent to a $40,000-per-year raise. Self-discovery is a lasting investment in your quality of life.

However, beginning therapy can seem like more trouble than it’s worth. You are likely seeking counseling at a vulnerable time in your life. Meeting new counselors and deciding upon one seems like a huge challenge to add to your life’s existing trials. Here are a few tips to get you through.

Prepare if you prefer.

There’s nothing wrong with winging an introductory visit-you’re there to figure out if you and your potential counselor can communicate well and do constructive work together. On the other hand, if preparing for new situations makes you more comfortable, you can be ready by reviewing the primary reason you are seeking counseling so that you can present it to the counselor. Describe your goals to yourself. The complexities of your life will come out as you talk to your potential counselor.

Pay attention to your rapport.

Counseling is not always fun, but it should feel like a safe environment to you. Does your counselor make you feel more alienated, or does he seek to understand you without judging you? Do you feel intuitively that your counselor will be able to understand you as your therapy progresses? If you do not feel that you can open up to your therapist, this is a good sign that you may need to find a provider who is better suited to your personality.

Your intake visits are your counselor’s job interview.

Although you bare your soul to your counselor, your relationship with her or him is fundamentally a professional one; you employ your counselor to improve your mental health. If you don’t have a good relationship after two or three visits, you should thank them for their time; tell them that you are going to explore other options. If your counselor asks why, it’s OK to explain your trepidation to them; it may help them refer you to someone who can better meet your needs.

Filed Under: Mental Health Tagged With: Counseling Services, Directories, Health, Mental health, Navy Counselor, Online, Practitioners, Psychotherapy

First Time In Therapy

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The truth of the matter is that depending on your circumstances, entering into a relationship with a therapist can be a very important first step towards creating stronger mental well being for yourself. But it is just one step in a long journey. This doesn’t mean you’re going to be in therapy for the rest of your life but you shouldn’t be on the look out for quick fixes.

There will be no escaping the fact that your first therapy session is going to create some high levels of anxiety. You need to find a therapist you’ll be comfortable with and there is nothing wrong with “shopping” around. For sessions to work you need to go deep and reveal intimate details of your life. Holding back isn’t going to help you solve anything. With guidance, your therapist will be able to take you to the places you need to go in order to resolve whatever issues that brought you into therapy in the first place. If you’re working with a psychiatrist they might be able to prescribe some drug therapies to supplement your treatment. As in life, there is a first time for everything and therapy is no different. After a couple of sessions you’ll wonder what all the worry was about!

The popular HBO series “In Treatment” is an intense and dramatic portrayal of the relationship between a therapist and his patients through their therapy sessions together. What’s unique about this series is the ability to follow the arc of a patient as they travel from crisis to understanding. Naturally, because this is a drama there might not always be a happy ending. The first rule for storytelling is that without conflict there can be no story. If you’re considering therapy for the first time you may think it’s going to be just like it is on television. You’ll meet with your therapist, do a little talking and have all your problems solved in a half an hour. If it were really that simple, we’d all be in therapy all the time!
The truth of the matter is that depending on your circumstances, entering into a relationship with a therapist can be a very important first step towards creating stronger mental well being for yourself. But it is just one step in a long journey. This doesn’t mean you’re going to be in therapy for the rest of your life but you shouldn’t be on the look out for quick fixes.
There will be no escaping the fact that your first therapy session is going to create some high levels of anxiety. You need to find a therapist you’ll be comfortable with and there is nothing wrong with “shopping” around. For sessions to work you need to go deep and reveal intimate details of your life. Holding back isn’t going to help you solve anything. With guidance, your therapist will be able to take you to the places you need to go in order to resolve whatever issues that brought you into therapy in the first place. If you’re working with a psychiatrist they might be able to prescribe some drug therapies to supplement your treatment. As in life, there is a first time for everything and therapy is no different. After a couple of sessions you’ll wonder what all the worry was about!

Filed Under: Discussion, Health, Psychiatric Consultant, Treatment Tagged With: Counseling Services, Intimate relationship, Mental health, Therapy